Editing

seppuku

Edit. The four letter word. Add a gerund, and what author action have you? This:

Plunges katana, with no one to help. Seppuku, she whispers, over and again. Screams in agonizing silence while the katana button, otherwise known as DELETE, slices the lifeblood from the WIP. Yet, dignity is preserved. Oh, yeah. For everyone else.

It’s past midnight. The moon casts eerie light upon the computer. Wailing continues, then wanes. Shh.

Howls of death throes would wake the spouse.

So, I bang my head on the table.

That, my friend, is what the newbie writer does for ‘hope-for’ money.

I don’t know ’bout you, but I think Earnest Hemingway got it wrong. Shoulda been, ‘Drink sober, edit drunk.’ At least seppuku wouldn’t be so painful.

“In case of seppuku, cut along dotted line…”

 

 

 

 

A Laughing Matter … No Really

What qualifies me to write ‘Edit Zombie,’ anyway?

NOTHING. Absolutely nothing.

*Other than the million websites, books I pile next to me as I edit. Makes … me … crazy*

Of course, my hope is to condense every possible rule(s) down to one simple book, smaller than the Chicago Manual of Style. Easier to deal with, updated from Strunk & White. Maybe a table or two.

Too much stuff comes my way, like a bullet train without notice. Much of the material seems overwhelming, and heavens above, I need those books/sites to quote from.

*Weeps*

I am finishing Forget Me Not: Non Compos Mentis. The synopsis and proposal complete. One more pass through and in the mail it goes. Yes. This time, not email, but whosoever -oh wait- too Biblical. Whomever accepts snail mail because I am computer-illiterate. Yes.

Sure I can get onto a few sites. There are a lot I haven’t heard of ’til recently. Reddit. Instagram’s been around, but … er, I am on social media, so much so that my writing, editing and reading time gulps blinky like a Pac Man. I am that old.

When it’s done, it may look like the image above, that which will haunt your dreams…

your edit zombie